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Mail Order Massacres
Optical Delusion, Just Add Water and Money Back Guarantee

by Hunter Shea
5 Hours
Ages 18+
This compilation contains 3 fun horror short stories by Hunter Shea!

Put on a pair of “X-Ray” glasses and things will never look the same! These almost magical specs will make you the hit of the party! Astonishing three-dimensional X-Ray visions of what your friends—and girls—look like under their clothes! And all for just $1. After his son’s gives him a pair as a gift Martin Blackstone tries them on just for the hell of it—and all they do is give him a headache... Until he sees things he can’t possibly be seeing. Glimpses of things on the other side of a wall or beneath someone’s clothing. He wants to believe it’s just his overactive imagination but the “X-Ray” specs actually work. Then the fun novelty becomes a waking nightmare when the glasses burn into his face and he starts seeing horrifying apocalyptic visions no mortal man was ever meant to see. Images that alter his very personality—from a husband and father to a bloodthirsty homicidal maniac... Because sometimes you can see too much.

It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost $4.99. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then: Just add water... and watch them grow! Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where their Dads pours toxic chemicals... It’s been a couple days since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous... and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh...

Protect America’s shores with your very own nuclear submarine! Constructed from durable fiberboard material, this submersible is large enough for two kids! Sail off into imaginative international intrigue for just $5.00! If this toy doesn’t float your boat, return it for a full refund! With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary Lanchester orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. What arrives is more sub-standard than submarine, but her son loves the cheap piece of cardboard. Until he and a friend nearly drown when they take the sub for a deep sea dive in the swimming pool. Enraged, Rosemary reports the toy’s manufacturer to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband mysteriously disappear. To save her family, Rosemary tracks down the company’s headquarters with the help of her brother—a survivalist with enough toys of his own to wage an all-out war. And she still wants her $5.00.

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Director & Cast

Director Scott McCormick
Starring Optical Delusion:
Narrated by Scott McCormick with Scott Graham as Martin, Amanda Forstrom as Andrea, Matthew Keenan as Brian also with Paul Reisman, Chris Stinson, Dylan Lynch, KenYatta Rogers, Harley Gordon, Marnie Penning, Terence Aselford, Yasmin Tuazon, Jonathon Church, Zeke Alton and Al Twanmo.

Just Add Water:
Narrated by Scott McCormick with Alejandro Ruiz as David, Nathanial Perry as Patrick also with Lynette Rathnam, Eric Messner, Matthew Bassett, Michael Glenn, Jonathon Church, Matthew Schleigh, Joe Mallon, Bruce Alan Rauscher, Christopher Walker, Eva Wilhelm, Jacob Yeh, Lolita Horne, Zeke Alton, Dani Stoller, Michael John Casey and Tony Nam as Carl.

Money Back Guarantee:
Narrated by Scott McCormick with Colleen Delany as Rosemary, Evan Casey as Dwight, Michael John Casey as Gavin, Bradley Smith as Rob with Ken Jackson, Tia Shearer, Marni Penning, David Jourdan, Drew Kopas, Nanette Savard, Chris Stinson and Katy Carcuff.
Book Adapted for GraphicAudio by Scott McCormick
Dialogue Editors David Zitney
Sound Designers David Zitney
Original Theme Music David Zitney
Producers Richard Rohan, Duane Beeman and Matt Webb
Executive Producer Anji Cornette


Creepy Fun by Brandon (Posted on 8/30/2018)
All three stories were great. Money Back Guarantee was by far the creepiest for me
Goosebumps for adults by Jared (Posted on 5/25/2018)
I loved the production style on these, but most of all I love the types of stories these are and how they're done. They remind me of...well, old Goosebumps books I'd have read twenty or something years ago when I should have been paying attention in class. My favorite has to be "Just Add Water" for the classic kids in a horror movie type of tale, right down to the secret weapon against the monster. Everyone is on point, and the only bad thing I can say is I can't listen to Optical Delusion more than once. It just isn't for me, twisted my belly in the right and wrong way.
mail order massacres by mike (Posted on 3/1/2018)
Got this one yesterday and wow this really grabbed my full attention... i remember wanting the X-ray glass and the sea creature's-and the toy soldiers and the sub i would see advertised in my comic books so was a fun stroll down memory lane now i'm glad mom did not order that stuff for me=lol. That being said i'm really enjoying this one
Fun bite sized tails... get it? by damien (Posted on 2/26/2018)
Really it's nice having shorter productions to listen to as well. I enjoy the full epic tales, but it was nice to have a little sample of good stories to listen to while I worked. Hope to see more from this author in the future.
great stories by rafael (Posted on 2/25/2018)
I'm not really into horror stories, but I enjoyed this. Each stories was better than the last. Great job!!!!

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